The Great Beyond

Tonight I want to talk about something totally unrelated to my goals.

Eight years ago this month, my uncle passed away from cancer. It was a very hard thing to watch, probably the hardest thing I'd had to do until Grandma died last year.

For years after he died, I found January to be the hardest month of the year. I'd often cry for no reason, wake up from nightmares, not want to get out of bed at all, and just wish for February 1st to arrive NOW. I'd dream about him all the time, and the dreams often left me disturbed and grieving all over again.

Last night I had a dream. I was sitting at my Aunt and Uncle's place with a bunch of relatives, nothing much going on, just visiting, conversing, you know, the things families do. I woke up thinking, what an odd, uneventful dream.

It wasn't until later this morning that I realized my uncle had been in the dream. But this time it wasn't scary or disturbing. This time he was just there, sitting at the table, taking it all in. As if he were part of the gathering, but not, at the same time. Just sitting in his chair, drinking a beer.

It was oddly comforting. It was like a reminder that he's out there, somewhere, watching over us all, part of the family even if we can't see him anymore.

I don't know if I believe in God or heaven or all that entails, but I really hope that, if heaven exists, Uncle Doug is there, with Grandma, Grandpa, Great Grandma Sadie and all the others who've passed away, just hanging out together and having a good time.